Changing My Mind

I admit it - I am one of those moms who has said "We're NEVER doing that" or "We're ALWAYS going to do this". I see now how silly those statements sound. I'll provide some examples.

For starters - I was NEVER going to give my son a pacifier. My reasoning?  I didn't want him to be dependent on anything to help him soothe. I wanted him to be completely independent and able to self soothe. Maybe if I had kept up this absolute he may have reached this goal, but things change. When he was 4 months old, he started teething. He was desperate for things to chew or suck on - he needed things in his mouth to ease his pain and discomfort. I had several teething toys - one that vibrated and one that you could freeze. The trouble was that he was too small to hold the teethers up to his mouth long enough to provide substantial relief.  I would place one in his mouth and bring his little fingers around the handles and step back and wait. The result - only a few seconds of comfort. Then followed this screams from having had relief for a brief second and now that is horribly gone. To assist him in these times, I did sit and hold them up his mouth for a period each day but he still pulled them out, not to mention me not being able to stay there all day. 

Then one night as I was getting him ready for bed he was chewing hard on his hands and crying out in pain. I suddenly had a thought that maybe if he had something that he could actually KEEP in his mouth to chew/suck on he might feel better. Now what could such a thing look like? I wonder...I gave into my NEVERS and gave him one of the pacifiers that I had recieved as a shower gift. I've never looked back since, it was a great decision and sometimes a cold nummy is all he needs.

Another NEVER was allowing my child to sleep in our bed. At first it was a safety issue, I thought that he was too small and maybe I would roll on him or he wouldn't be able to recognize when he was too close to a blanket or pillow. I am still a firm beliver in my child having his own bed and room for sleeping but with exceptions. There have been moments when I have broken my NEVER rule. On a particularly early morning - say 5:30 am - I am just not ready to get out of bed for the day. When he wakes this early have taken to feeding him in my bed and letting him fall back asleep next to me.  I have tried the alternative of moving him to his crib, but he thinks it's time to get up for the day to play. I find that I love having him in the bed with us on weekends when we "sleep in" and hang out the three of us.

Those are just two of the many retractions I have experienced. I have learned the foolishness of my statements and am wary of saying them again in the future. The truth is I have no idea what I will do in a situation I'm presented with until I am actually IN it. I haven't worn the shoes of those times yet so how do I know how they fit? Today I may do something one way and tomorrow a completely different way. I guess my bottom line is - major parent lesson - NEVER say NEVER!