Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Mommy Time

One of the hardest things that I have discovered about being a mom is the fact that your time is no longer your own.  Everyone tells you this before the baby is born but you really cannot imagine what it's like until you live it. It is no longer up to me when I do things, or even what I do. With a baby, they need to eat when they are hungry, to be changed when they are wet and if they are fussy, forget it, you are tied up until baby says so.

My child is a good baby, crying only when he is hungry, gassy, or fussy and he isn't gassy often. He rarely fusses without good reason so I know I am lucky. That being said, there are times when I wish with every fiber in my being that he would let me decide when and what we do. For example there are days when I get overcome with the urge to have a nap. Those days I silently wish for him not only to go down for a nap, but to go for a long one. My begging is usually in vain. It seems the more I need to rest the less likely that I will get to. I have dragged my half dozed self off the couch countless times since he was born when his cries stir me - just ten short minutes after he went down. Amazingly as hard as it is to haul myself up, I do it with more enthusiasm than I ever have for anyone else in my life.

A hard thing is when I would like to have lunch, or have a shower, or blow dry my hair. These things I took for granted now need planning and often have to be put on hold - all must happen around his time. Sometimes I am very anxious and impatient as he feeds or we pace around with him bouncing him up and down, sometimes with my hair drying amidst the humidity in a mess. The funny part is, I resign myself that it is him first no matter how much I want to do something for myself. I have that attitude for no one else in my life.
Even as I type this he is constantly interrupting me..haha

All that being said it is hard sometimes. I do get frustrated, and then I feel guilty for wanting him to do something else or for wishing for just a few minutes to myself. I know it's all part of it and I am a firm believer in the importance of mommy time. To make up for all those times when he is in control, I take nights off where I leave the house and do something for myself. I grab a coffee, shop, go to the library, or go out with a friend. Those times I call the shots and have a chance to recharge. I have no contact with home unless its absolutely necessary and I find that by the time I am ready to come home I am eager to see my little guy again.

Momma matters too and it is important not to let guilt cause you to lose sight of that!

Momma's Musts
  • It's a baby's world. Forget following your usual schedule. Throw out your need to shower first or blow dry immediately. It's not up to you!
  • Prioritize. When you do get those free moments, do the most important thing first. Eat if you are starving - resist the urge to load the dishwasher first. You may only have time for one thing and you had better not be left hungry.
  • Get out! Plan a "me" night and do something that you love. Bring your cell but make a deal with your partner to leave it to emergencies only and "forget" about home for awhile. It will help you relax and appreciate what you have. Do this often!
  • Forgive yourself. It's okay to be selfish sometimes and even be frustrated at your circumstances. I tell myself it isn't the baby's intent to soak up all my time, that it isn't always going to be easy, and it's okay to want something for yourself every now and again.

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