Monday, September 23, 2013

Back to Work Adjustments

So I've done it. I've added the title of working parent to my repertoire. After my summer long hiatus of blogging I'm back with my thoughts of how we're adjusting to our new life as a dual working family.

I was ready to go back to work. I missed chatting with other adults, having responsibilities that went beyond diaper changes and heating milk, and I was excited to have things to talk about other than the number of poops my little guy had each day. I had the luxury of staying off beyond the year mark and feel it was this extra time that allowed me to prepare mentally to take the big step back into the working world. My little guy had gained some independence over the summer and is one of those babies that loves to occupy himself and can do so for hours. I found myself wanting more things to do that were different from my usual daily tasks. We had a great summer and while there were some mixed feelings when the season dwindled down, I was more than ready to move into the next phase of my life.

Daycare adjustment has been fantastic, with little tears, in fact any of them were my own. I was okay leaving him, not worried or stressed, but did get a little upset as the reality that I would not be his primary caregiver anymore settled in. I have decided that at this point in my life that being a stay at home mom is just not for me, but I have the utmost respect for those that do it every day.  That said, it still saddened me to know that my time as his main caregiver has come to an end.

After getting used to the first few weeks of routine, seeing what our busy morning getting ready to leave looked like, and developing a pick-up routine, we are adjusting well. The first week back I felt like a zombie most days because getting used to full days out of the house and away from baby were challenging. Plus little guy was going through another period of fitful sleep, that thankfully ceased when we went extinction cold turkey - we gave up going in to check on him. It worked!!!! He sleeps great now, over 12 hours. I'm not sure how I could go to work each day if he didn't. The zombie time was short lived and now I feel rested and that I'm starting to settle in to my new home life and my new position.

Of course there are downfalls to everything - he's already picked up a cold and had a couple sick days, and appointments that myself and hubby have had to balance. Then of course there is the mommy guilt. Sometimes when I realize just how much I love my job I feel a little guilty because I am essentially dropping off my own child for someone else to raise during the day. I miss him so much and enjoy our evenings and weekends together, but I do like having a different set of tasks each day. I know he enjoys daycare and that it's good for him to be around other children. I suppose no matter what we do as mommas there will be some form of guilt for enjoying ourselves without baby.

All that said, the very best feeling is when I go to pick him up at the end of each day. I'm so excited as I drive to his daycare and see him light up and move mountains to get to me as fast as he can! That excitement I wish to see until he's a teenager and runs the other way!

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