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For those of you that saw me as a grinch in my Christmas Rush...already post, please don't judge me so swiftly. I am now ready and have officially been bitten by the Christmas bug.
This time last year I was about thirty pounds heavier and a thousand times more tired, with my little one all nestled inside, and wondering what Christmas of 2012 would hold when there would be another person in our home. The uncertainty I felt then feels so different now as look back. I was so excited to have a child here for Christmas and now that is my reality. I had been wary last year, worried I wouldn't have a clue what to do when my child was born but now a more confident parent fills that space. I'll probably never know exactly what to do about everything but I am much more sure of myself this Christmas than last year.
This year my son watched from his exer-saucer as myself and my husband decorated our home. Amidst the chaos of boxes of lights, garland, snowmen and Santas; there he was right in the middle of it. The faint clicking of the attached toys on his saucer filled the background as we scurried around and tried to fit our tree into our already cramped baby-friendly living room. I can hardly believe that he is here, I had memories wash over me as I pulled familiar decorations out of the boxes. Last year I had reminded myself when I put them away that the next time I saw them I would be a mommy. It's a surreal feeling remembering these thoughts.
I find myself listening to Christmas music all the time in the house now and hoping that my son enjoys the tunes. I point out Christmas icons to him such as Frosty and Santa, and chat to him about Christmas traditions. I want him to watch the Grinch with me when it comes on, read some Christmas stories, and can hardly wait for him to be old enough to appreciate Christmas movie classics like Home Alone and National Lampoon.
We took him to his first Christmas parade and while it was more for us, I feel like he really did get something out of it. Any sirens or loud noises scared him, but the remainder of the parade grabbed his curious attention. I watched his eyes dart between the waving clowns and dancing acts. I saw him look up at the characters walking down the streets. I like to think he enjoyed himself. I sure did and I feel more excited for years to come. They say Christmas is for children and I really believe this. His excitement will bring out mine and the excitement of everyone else in his life as he gets older.
The next few weeks will be busy, and busier perhaps because there is a baby with ever-growing needs in the mix this year. I find the space in my house filling up with decorations, presents and very soon, houseguests. My social calendar is rapidly filling up right through December - and I am loving it. I am not sorry that I resisted the Christmas feeling a couple of weeks ago, waiting a little longer has made it all the more worthwhile to me. That being said I am ready now and looking forward to what this season brings with it!